Your Child’s 3 Year Visit
NUTRITION
The family kitchen is no place for short-order cooking or bargaining over food. Your job as parent is to provide a balanced selection of foods at meals; it is your child’s decision to eat it. Mealtimes should be social occasions that provide important opportunities for sharing events of the day. Therefore, even if your child doesn’t like the food that’s being served, you should still expect her to join the rest of the family at the table. Let her help herself to bread, salad, and whatever else is on the table, but don’t offer an alternative food in place of the dish she has turned down. If she’s hungry later, offer to reheat leftovers or suggest another healthy choice. The one food you shouldn’t offer is the alternative she originally demanded. Bribes are often counterproductive; they make children resistant to foods they feel neutral about – “if they have to bribe me to eat this stuff, it must be really bad.” Most children outgrow their picky eating if meals do not become battles of wills.
SLEEPING
Most 3 year olds still require a midday nap, and total sleep in a 24 hr period still should be 12-13 hrs. Having a bedtime routine and a consistent time for bed will help prevent many sleep problems. Continue reading to your child as part of quiet time before bed. Fears of the dark, thunder, lightning, etc are common at this age. Using a night light, security blanket or toy are all ways to help lessen nighttime fears. Nightmares will sometimes waken a child from sleep. The nightmares can be triggered by changes or stress. Comfort your child and put her back to bed.
Continue brushing your child’s teeth twice each day with a soft toothbrush using a pea-size amount of toothpaste. Make an appointment with the dentist for a check-up.
PLAYTIME & PARENTING
Children at this age enjoy sand and water play, books, and reading. Pretend play, using both toys and household objects, is developing. Passive play (such as TV viewing) should be limited to less than 1-2 hours per day.
Playmates are important. Allow your child to interact with other 3 year olds. This can be accomplished in a preschool, play group, or simply having another child over for a few hours.
Having direct conversations with your child improves her language development. Children do not learn language from TV or radio. Encourage your child to talk about her day or other topics of interest.
Show your affection by your behavior, not just words (so give unexpected hugs, quiet time together). Each parent should spend some time alone with each child each day.
Help siblings learn to resolve conflict and anger.
Don’t worry if the child becomes curious about body parts. This is normal at this age. Always use the correct term for genitals.
DISCIPLINE
Discipline should continue to be firm and consistent but loving and understanding. Use the two I’s of discipline (ignore or isolate) rather than the two S’s (shouting, spanking). When disciplining, try to separate the child from his behavior (“I love you, but I do not like it when you touch the VCR”).
Provide alternatives – “No, you cannot play with the telephone, but you may play with these blocks”
Try to avoid power struggles. No one wins! The 3 year old still uses temper-tantrums as a weapon. Respond to this behavior with isolation (time-out) or ignoring until the tantrum is over.
Reinforce good behavior. If you save all your attention for punishment or “NO” then your child will learn to get attention by negative behavior.
SAFETY
Injuries are the number one cause of death for children with almost half of injuries involving motor vehicles.
Children should remain in car seats with 5 point restraints until they outgrow them (usually around age of 5 and/or 40 pounds.) They should be restrained in belted booster seats until they are at least 4’9” tall. The back seat is the safest place for children to ride.
Poison-proof your house. Check storage cabinets for kerosene, solvents, paints and removers, and drain cleaners. Keep these items (and all medicines) out of reach and locked up. Never refer to medication as “candy.” Call the poison control center if your child puts something poisonous in his mouth.
Guns in the home are a danger to the family. All guns should be unloaded, locked and out of reach.
Always supervise your child when he is playing near a street. Remember, a 3 year old child does not understand danger or remember “no”; your child cannot be counted on to be aware of outside hazards.
Start to teach your child his full name, address, and phone number. Start to teach stranger safety – not to follow strangers and not allow themselves to be touched by others in ways they don’t like.
DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES
¾ of speech is understandable by strangers, uses pronouns and prepositions in short sentences, asks many questions “why”, “what’s that”
Knows name, age, and gender; can name a friend
Can jump in place and stand briefly on 1 foot, may be able to ride a tricycle, walks up stairs with alternating steps
Uses spoon/fork well, can brush teeth with help
Able to undress without supervision, can put on shirt
Enjoys playing with friends, can start to share, participates in pretend play, listens to short stories